i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
