Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
