my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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