my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
