No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
