so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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