My nipple is on Facebook.
You can't special order awesome
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
