Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
