11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She said her name was "party"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize