Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
