Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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