After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
