How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
