I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
