There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
