I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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