last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
