We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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