Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
