I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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