Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize