Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
