dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
