What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
