I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just pynch a tree in the face
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You need Xanax blowdarts
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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