Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
