Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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