loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize