I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
