Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
