Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
