I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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