the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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