Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize