JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
