just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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