He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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