Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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