i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize