Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
