Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
