i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
