i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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