Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
