my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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