I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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