i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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