I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
