if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize