I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
