There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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