So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
