Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
