Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
