I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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