he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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