They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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