I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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