Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
