check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
