What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
